Tuesday 25 June 2013

Hi everyone! It's been a while. :) I'm back in business now though, galvanized by the new news about how funding mandates here in Hell are set to change - and not before time. (Sorry guys!) Too often in the past, there was a sort of laissez faire attitude to tortures - those who were committed would make sure that they put the hours in with the knout and fork, but others, frankly, would leave hardly a back or buttock scathed if they could find a way to let time leak away by the watercooler or in the 'library' (yeah, I know!) Now, though, I'm glad to report that things are looking up. A message has come through the fiery adits from Lynn Gladden, our Pro-Vice-Chancellor for Naphtha and Bitumen, setting out the new Infernal Methods for Punishment Promulgation. Sure, there are glitches. Sadly, as Lynn doesn't try to conceal, '[s]ome of the funder mandates are not fully thought through.' (Ever feel let down?)  'The result can be confusing, but the funders expect action on the part of authors regardless.' The headline is good news here though. Readers of this log won't need reminding that those great thoughts which all the devils and demons hereabouts are always cooking up don't just fund themselves. Every hellish thought is paid for by someone, somewhere - and that means that these thoughts, obviously, are the property of those who paid for them. Some of the damned and lost do sometimes seem to me to have a slightly frustrating idea of what the 'soul' (their word!) actually entails. For the record, folks: 'having' a soul doesn't mean that all the thoughts in it are your private property? Like I always say: who's the sponsor? But things are on the mend. You can download our free Soul Data Extraction App  here. Get busy!

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